Is my dog really stubborn ?
As a dog behaviour consultant, it’s something I hear every day… “My dog is stubborn on walks, he stops to sniff everything”, “My dog is so stubborn, he won’t eat that expensive fancy food I bought for him”, “My dog is so stubborn, he knows he’s doing something wrong but he won’t listen”…
(Insert 100 other examples here)
And every time, I internally cry and scream. Because we’re misreading our dogs.
Your dog isn’t stubborn. They either do not understand what you’re expecting of them or they can’t do what you want for XY reason or they are desperately trying to tell you that what you offer just does not work for them.
If you don’t understand the WHY behind the “no”, you’re not going to be able to communicate properly with your dog.
“My dog is stubborn, he wants to stop to sniff everything on our walks”.
Well, Mother Nature gave your dog this amazing super power and Doggy knows how to use it for their own satisfaction”.
Maybe YOU see “taking a walk with Doggy” like “let’s walk 500 miles” but THEY are more interested in sniffing every inch of that street.
That’s why it’s so important that you understand and meet their needs.
Or maybe Doggy knows that once he’s done peeing and pooping, your turn around and go back home. So if we stop everywhere, we won’t go home and you won’t leave me alone to go to work.
Our dogs are oblivious of the reality to our Human life: leaving the house to go to work to make some money to pay your kibble and vet bills? What do you mean??
I’m not saying “Quit your job and spend your time with your dog, and who cares about money?”
Just that it’s easier for us to try to understand their point of view and go from there.
“My dog knows this cue, but he’s stubborn, he won’t listen”:
Are you sure you trained your dog to respond to that cue in that specific context?
If Doggy is able to come when you ask them in your quiet living room, that’s great! But doing it in a busy park, with dogs running everywhere and a squirrel on each tree, it’s a completely different game.
It’s a bit like being able to swim 50m in less than 50 seconds in your swimming pool. No one will expect you to achieve the same time in the ocean on a stormy day.
You need to proof your training, by slowly adding difficulties in a controlled environment.
“My dog so stubborn, he won’t eat the crazy expensive food I bought him”:
Well, let me tell you that if you invite me for dinner and thought you’d please my French mouth with expensive champagne and caviar, you will think I’m stubborn too!
It’s a matter of taste and personal preferences!
Expensive (or not) is a Human conception. Doggy has no idea that you had to sell a kidney to buy this kangaroo raw food.
Maybe he doesn’t like kangaroo. Maybe he just liked it last month when he stole your friend’s dog’s meal when you were visiting them.
Maybe he’s in pain and eating makes it worse. Maybe something is wrong.
Dogs are hedonist and opportunist creatures!
They naturally do what works for them and enjoy the opportunities that life offers them.
So, of course, if you want to turn right but it smells like chicken on your left, your dog will choose left.
He isn’t stubborn to not follow you, he’s just doing what works for him.
Asking them to act differently as soon as you want them to, I don’t think it’s fair and it’s definitely not realistic.
They’re defintely not trying to be the alpha, that myth has been debunked a long time. If you still have doubts about it, recommend Bary Eaton’s book Dominance in dogs: fact or fiction.
To me, saying “my dog is stubborn” is ignoring the real message that your dog is trying to tell you and missing out on an opportunity to communicate with your dog.
I completely agree that sometimes we don’t have a choice, we need to “force” our dog to do what we need them to do.
Because we need to go home, because we need them to stay close to us, because we have to take them to the vet even if they don’t want to.
But acknowledging what your dog is telling you and trying to see things through his eyes will help you build a real connection with your dog.
And that’s a key to a strong relationship based on mutual understanding and respect, in which your dog will follow you anywhere, out of trust and love, not fear and frustration.
If you struggle with some behaviours that you qualify as stubborn, reach out and schedule a session with me. I’m only an email away!
